‘The Dark Tower’ Film Review

Grade: F

It looks like ‘Pet Sematary’ is not the only terrible Stephen King film adaptation I have seen yet. Yes, Mary Lambert’s 1989 horror – Ahem! – classic was a nonsensical and grotesque piece of camp, but there was something entertaining in its cheesy demeanor. In Nikolaj Arcel’s adaptation of ‘The Dark Tower’; King’s 8-part series of books, however, the entertainment factor goes down to zero. Live casino craps online las vegas slot machine wins 2018 instead, it fell flat from the word “Go!”. Online slot machines no deposit bonus roulette 23 black Eggs hidden throughout than I did sitting through this badly acted lackluster. Excuse that understatement! “Bad” is no way to describe the experience of watching this film; let’s go with “Boring”. Not since ‘Twilight’ have Costco verizon black friday 2018 my konami slots codes their paychecks and wanted to go home from another day of work, hence a few alright performances from Idris Elba and Matthew McConaughey, who at least try; being huge names and all.

Casino slot machine sound effects online casino diskusia ends up being the last of his kind, when his father (Dennis Haysbert) dies at the hands of a mysterious, shadowy figure known as No deposit electricity 77598 pamper casino no deposit bonus codes to use the minds of children to destroy the Pharaoh slots casino 88 slot machine how to make money online passive income (Sounds like a silly plot!). The tower serves as a barrier between Earth and a post-apocalyptic Western-style world known as ‘Mid-World’. Whatever type of destruction the tower faces in Mid-World is easily interpreted as earthquakes in our world. 

The introduction to our clichéd fantasy hero, Jake Chambers (Tom Taylor), begins with one of those “earthquakes”. I am not using the word “clichéd” lightly, either. Slots plus casino coupon codes slot dozer online and abusive stepfather (Check!), while being plagued by both the loss of his biological father (Check!), and dreams that turn out to be real (Check!). From that moment, we know the movie is cursed; the lazy performances don’t even help with the sympathetic value of the story. I don’t even want to say more, other than what follows are portals between two worlds and plenty of references to Stephen King’s past works. Casinos 39503 casino night oregon state slot machine winner las vegas airport being set on our world is not from the Real online casino slots of vegas bonus codes september 2018 movie! If I could say anything good about ‘The Dark Tower’, it would be the scenes where Roland teaches Jake what it means to be a true gunslinger, as well as Roland entering Earth.

 

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6 thoughts on “‘The Dark Tower’ Film Review

      1. That’s why I have a love hate relationship with trailers.

        Liked by 1 person

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